Layman's boat term dictionary

Port, starboard, bow, stern, anchorage, tides, bridge, salon...what the heck are they talking about?

The problem is that the words are all in English and have other meanings in different contexts. Hopefully this will help you to understand. I apologize in advance that they are not in alphabetical order but rather the random order that they came to me.

You hear: port
You think: wine to go with a cigar, a place where there are lots of boats
But it actually means: left as in the port side of the boat or turn to port

You hear: starboard
You think: look up? star chart at school? Starbursts?
But it actually means: right as in the starboard side of the boat or turn to starboard

You hear: bow
You think: what the actors do at the end of the musical
But it actually means: the front of the boat

You hear: stern
You think: the tone of my mother's voice when I have done something wrong
But it actually means: the back of the boat

You hear: head
You think: that thing on the top of my body that I think with
But it actually means: the bathroom....closer in connection to the other head

You hear: lines
You think: those things on a piece of paper or the sentences the teacher made you write
But it actually means: the ropes used on a boat

You hear: fender
You think: fender of a car
But it actually means:a balloon type thing that works like a fender on a car but on a boat to protect it from bumping things. This one actually makes sense.

You hear: buoy
You think: something that floats, or you mishear and think a small male child
But it actually means: a floating object that often indicates hazards

You hear: cleat
You think: Baseball or soccer shoes
But it actually means: the metal thing that you tie the lines to to hold the boat in position on a dock.

You hear:  swell
You think: cool, groovy
But it actually means: waves that just roll

You hear: wake
You think: wake up you lazy bum!
But it actually means: the waves produced by your boat that can then impact other boats

You hear: beam
You think: that thing you balance on for gymnastics or the things that hold up your house or barn, beam me up Scottie! Or a ray of sunshine
But it actually means: the width of the boat

You hear: draft
You think: it's cold out, pour me another one, writing another draft, or being conscripted
But it actually means: how deep the boat sits in the water

You hear: Anchorage
You think: Alaska?
But it actually means: a safe place to anchor the boat

 You hear: galley
You think: gallery? Kalle?
But it actually means: the very small kitchen in a boat

You hear: bridge/fly bridge
You think: the thing that spans an area of water between two land masses, you mean those things can fly?
But it actually means: the upper helm on a boat

You hear: poop deck
You think: ha ha she said poop! A deck to poop on?
But it actually means: the back deck of our boat between the salon and fly bridge. Apparently, it is where we go when we are pooped, although Lyric pooped there the other day. 

You hear: snubber
You think: they don't like me and snub me so they are a snubber
But it actually means: a line attached to the anchor line that relieves pressure on the windlass

You hear: windlass
You think: a young girl in the wind
But it actually means: the anchor winch, not wench. Lol

You hear: pulpit
You think: church
But it actually means: describes the shape of the area where the anchor comes out

You hear: davits
You think: you can't spell David, or Davies...and you were a teacher?
But it actually means: lifting device for the dinghy

You hear: dinghy
You think: dingy, dirty, and she can't spell, again
But it actually means: the small boat that we use to go to shore from an anchorage

You hear: tender
You think: how sweet, state of meat, request for a quote, form of payment, tinder?
But it actually means: a dinghy ...yikes! That means there are 5 meanings for that word!
After paying for tender steaks with legal tender at the restaurant they returned to their boat in the tender and shared a tender embrace to celebrate the acceptance of their tender on the job. Yikes!

You hear: bilge
You think: bulge? 
But it actually means: the space on the inside of the bottom of the boat. It normally collects water and any dripping fluids such as oil or fuel.

You hear: bilge pump                                                                           You think: aha! I know! A pump that is in the bilge (see above for description of a bilge)
It actually means: You are correct! The bilge pump removes fluids from the bilge so we don’t sink.

You hear: helm
You think: at the helm, it's a boat thing right?
But it actually means: the wheel, where you drive the boat from

You hear: fore
You think: duck! It’s a golf ball!
But it actually means: The front of the boat. The fore cabin would be at the front of the boat.

You hear: keel
You think: kale? Super food? Keeling over?
But it actually means: the centre board or lowest part of the boat running fore to aft. Keeling over is a sailing term where you are off the centre line.

You hear: hull
You think: to shuck, like to hull corn or peas
But it actually means: the shell of the boat, the bottom

You hear: aft
You think: daft, as in she really is crazy (and maybe she is….), or aft…ernoon
But it actually means: the back of the boat. The aft cabin would then be in the……